Relationship Food For Thought

Hello Everyone,

I had an interesting conversation with a friend about life, relationships and making not so easy life decisions.  As far as relationships go, she shared that a friend of hers would like to marry.  It has just been a long time dream of hers to be a wife and have a family, but it seems that this dream always outweighs her better judgement in choosing someone who wants a commitment.  Now, her current relationship is coming to an end.  She was told by the gentleman that when he met her, she was like a shoe in a shoe store that catches your eye, it looks good on the shelf and you ask to try it on with the anticipation that it will not just look good on, but will feel good on.  Well, he told her that once he tried on the shoe, it was not a good fit, he walked around a little, even took it home to walk around in it some more to see if he could break it in and make that shoe fit, but it just does not feel good on.  It just looks good.  She is hurt by this and does not want the relationship to end and wants him to commit.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am not a relationship guru, but we must become whole on our own.  No one can complete you, so please do not search the world over for wholeness through someone else.  If we are whole than we can be in a relationship happily and if not, if we are whole than we are confident enough to honestly assess what is happening and maybe make some decisions.  I mentioned "maybe" because, I am not the one to say leave, take a break or stay. But, I am one to say, stop, inhale, exhale and sit for a while and think about if your heart is being treated the way that you would want and deserve.  Everyone, has to decide for themselves what to do, it is one's own relationship, therefore, their decision.

This conversation prompted me to examine acceptance and just how much is accepted and tolerated in relationships.  Real love does not have favorites, real love is for everyone, but it is our list of surface things that keep real love from finding us.  Just as the shoe this young man described, it looks good, that is surface stuff, but when he put that shoe on and walked around, even gave himself more time and took the shoe home, finally, he saw that the shoe was just not going to fit him well.  So, this young lady, he feels is not for him.  He got to know her and decided it will not work.  This is just a food for thought entry this evening.


Fantasia "Lose to Win"

With inspiration,
Oreadea

It's Time To Breakup -Repost

Hello Everyone,

It is so hard to breakup, because there is an attachment and invested time, a place of familiarity, and it means having to move on.  There is always an excuse to stay and be controlled, but it is time to sit down and chat and finally go in separate ways.  I am talking about a long-term relationship with fear.  Who wants such a relationship, we just do not know how to call the whole thing off. The spirit of fear is something that we allow to enter into our lives.

Fear can run and dictate your life.  Fear loves being boss and telling you what you can and can not do. Fear will be so convincing about having power over us that we fall for the gimmick.  Fear is a great negotiator, negotiating  power away to make us feel that it can break us.  Guess what?  It is time to sit down and have a chat with fear, have not things gone far enough, because of this chaotic relationship with fear?  Fear does not have your back, it tries to use scare tactics to keep you feeling powerless, it lies to you about how much power you truly have, it is a thief stealing confidence, peace, joy and invading your personal space.


So now, it is time to get some composer and kindly breakup.  Fear should no longer be allowed to have one moment more in your life.  Take it all back, whatever was stolen claim it and take it back. Fear won't leave on its' own, it will stay around as long as you let it, just weighing you down.  Go ahead and help fear pack, get all of its' trash talking, emotional strong arming and holding you back ways to the curb.  Set fear out, give fear a warning not to try and comeback, it can knock, but it will not get in.

It is time to point fear to the exit sign.



                                             Hello Fear  Kirk Franklin


With inspiration,
Oreadea

The Eye Sees Better

Hello Everyone,

Before I begin, I have an announcement, Dr. Kris Marsh, an Associate Professor of Sociology at the University of

Maryland will be a contributing blogger.  She is also a demographer  with a concentration on the African American experience.  Here in America, we are required to identify ourselves on all applications job, school etc. as Caucasian/white, African American/black, Native Indian, Asian and so on.  So, I categorize myself as black.  Dr. Marsh, will share the experience and bring to light views and conditions of the "black experience."  She will be coming soon.  Click the link below to see Dr. Kris Marsh on CNN.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfEC1_SjCxA&feature=youtu.be

Now, on to my entry for the night.......

Have you ever heard, "there is peace in the eye of the storm?"  Literally, within the middle of a storm there is a middle space/zone area of the storm that is still, a plane can fly into it and fly out without incident.  So is life a storm sometimes.  We go through these very turbulent storms and get tossed around, because we do not find the center, the eye, where we can think clearly and have peace.  It does not have to be so loud all the time just because, there is chaos in our lives, we can go to that hiding place in our heart and find refuge to think our way through certain things, we can decide not to conclude gloom and doom, but to embrace strength and endurance.

When in the storm we can go back to the middle/the eye and see our circumstance from a more positive viewpoint transforming the problem into an opportunity to flow with calm, to get a good night sleep, to pray and believe, to hold our head high, to not be a worrier and to have joy in the struggle.  If we can come back to the center, the center will ground us and keep us from over reacting and going over board about things that are not in our control.

My Dad told me one day, "Oreadea, even if you are on your back, if you can look up then you can get up."  Well, all I could do was smile that was my eye, it brought me to the center.  I could look up, I could see the break of day, my perspective changed and in faith, I walk today.

That eye is the compass that leads us to important quiet times to hear God speak to our hearts and tell us what to do about our situation.  It could be for us to wait a little longer about something or to move on something.  Whatever it is, in the middle, we can hear.   Is it not better to be still and know, than to move in haste and regret?

With inspiration,
Oreadea

All Year Is, Thank You

Hello Everyone,

We have arrived once again, it is Easter season.  Why do we wait for Easter to really think about and appreciate the sacrifice of God to give His only begotten Son and Jesus, to be obedient to His Father and give of His life.

The Journey of Jesus through the searing heat, sand storms and brutal dryness, all for us.  God's committed love for us and Jesus' committed love for God is our saving grace in this world.  There is so much hate in the world, it is so hard to comprehend, for it was hate and jealousy that took Jesus to the cross for His life.  But, I guess, if we could not learn what hate can do from the lesson of Christ, people will continue to spread hate now.

I want to say thank you to God the Father for his great love and for thinking of me long before I was born, for thinking of and loving all of us long before we were born.

What a sad sad story of bullying and cruelty that Jesus endured to save us.  He was literally tortured just because some did not believe and over politics, leaders became jealous.  How can one even begin to have the capacity to understand being spat on, called names, stones being thrown at you, being pushed, and who knows the extent to the bullying day after day, after day.  And, through it all, Jesus continued to walk through sand storms and high heat to continue His commitment to save us.

Tears can not begin to express the sadness to think of how horrible this experience was on top of being betrayed by someone who was suppose to support and protect Him.

Lastly, to be made to carry a heavy cross and  to be beaten on His way to his death.  While along the way, brutal acts that only He could withstand, but for the love of us.

Thank you, you did not have to do this, you could have left us to be lost.

The spirit of Easter should not be for a season, but all year.  The act of love has no expiration date, nor is it a once a year time of acknowledgement.

May I offer for us to begin the daily practice of being thankful for God's love and His son Jesus Christ.

Happy Easter to everyone,

Oreadea

Your Sense of Self Is Not Their Call

Hello Everyone,

Being called names and being bullied can hurt anyone.  That which comes out of the mouth of others can be as a sword and pierce your very core, but always know that no matter what God loves you.  We may not always look exactly the way that we want, but that does not give one person the right to be cruel.

People that are mean to others have issues that they project onto others whom they feel they can hurt.  Do not let anyone bully you.  It is easier said than done, I know, but start with you and self acceptance.  As others see your self-esteem rise, they will begin to back off.  Well, you say, "I am so emotionally bruised by how I am treated that I just do not like me and I deserve it. " No, you do not deserve to be dehumanized and belittled.  You must take a look at the situation, that bully did not create you and does not wake you up in the morning.  Since, this is the case, why give them power.  The only power that they have is what you hand to them.  Even if you do not feel like being confident tell yourself everyday that you love you and that you will no longer give away your power.

A bully is someone who comes in many forms and enjoys making others suffer and miserable.  Call on your inner strength and pray for strength to realize your greatness and be able to walk in it daily.  We do not know why people bully, it could be jealousy, it could be because they hurt, it could be because they were bullied in their past, but still I ask, what right do they have?   There is none.

I hope that you know that you are loved and cared about.  Do not let anyone make you feel small.
You are great.

                                       God Loves You by The Canton Spirituals

Until next time,
Oreadea

Let Children Speak, You Just Might Hear Something

Hello Everyone,

I did not expect to write again tonight, but there is a message that I need to send.  I very recently spoke with a girl that shared some deeply hurtful feelings about some very personal things with me.  All I did was ask her what is wrong? She just appeared distant all of a sudden, so, I just asked. I did not expect much, so I thought that I would just see what she would say.  Well, what a surprise that one question opened up a door of pain and sadness for her.  She shared so much of her inner feelings that all I could do was listen.  I honestly thought that she would brush me off, but a part of me thought, it was better to ask and get brushed off than to not ask and something is really wrong.

Here is my message, for those adults who are reading, we must realize that children are people with problems of life too.  Sometimes we take their youth for granted and we feel that their life experiences can be measured, but that is soooo wrong.  Some children have experienced unspeakable things that damage and impact them in ways that would make us cry rivers.  We must take time to pay attention to signs and listen to give children opportunities to share what is on their minds, it may need addressing.

In times of stress, we all need a positive word and need to ask God to give us a sense of peace..  So, I dedicate the video to every child, every woman, every man that is hurting. 

Till next time,
Oreadea

The Afters - Light Up The Sky

Stepping Out on Faith

So many people step out on faith, but why have I decided to step out on faith?  Well, let me share some of my story.

Throughout my life I have always wanted to help others and I did.  There came a point in my life when I needed help and those that were charged with helping did not. Once I stood up and spoke out everything I have always felt rushed back in a strong way.

Now, I am stepping out on faith to help others in a way that I will ask God to lead. 

As I go through a situation, where I have the support of family and friends,  I want to also encourage anyone that reads my blog and is going through a situation.

 I never asked the question as to why this happened or why it is happening.  I am simply grateful that God has my back and I will stand strong.  It does not mean that I will not have not so good days, but it does mean that I will stay in faith.

So, with that said, this blog will be dedicated to life's ups and downs and just ordinary everyday stuff.  It will also invite others to share stories of ups, downs, pics, fun, education and opinions about current subjects and events. Most of all, being your true self and having a voice that shares your true expressions. 

To tell you a little more about me, I am in transition from perm to all natural hair.  Wow, what a great feeling.  One Saturday, my daughter (who is transitioning) and I cut all of the perm out of my hair from the top to the back.  Currently, I am growing my length in the front so that I can say, "see ya" to the permed ends in the front.

As I mentioned, I am going through a situation on which I can not comment.  However, I will say, stand up for yourself,  do not feel that anyone can control your place in life.  Even when you are most afraid pray, then stand up.  Fear will hold you back, I know, it held me back.  Now, from knowing what fear can do, I now say to you, in the face of fear you must stand. No one is greater than you and once you understand that as in the words of Maya Angelou "no one is more human than you," then you will think differently.  I would also venture to say that no one has power over you.  If you walk in faith you may not see initially how great you are, but just walk in it, and you will become so strong that those things that appeared so much bigger, you will see in its real form and size.

As a means of encouragement, I will post poems of inspiration.  Yes, I am a poet and will not only post my poetry, but will ask for submissions to post readers poetry as well.  So, start composing to inspire.

To start, I will personally post on this blog once a week, maybe more if time permits, and soon I will welcome contributors to True Youness.