The way that we think and things that we do can really hold us back, but not forgiving can hold us back even more. The unwillingness to forgive can keep us angry. We think it gives us a coping mechanism to help keep our guard up. Because, if we stay angry at someone we will have the will power not to talk to them, not to care or keep at a distance. This is a crutch, forgiveness does not mean that the guard comes down regarding the person, but it does free us from the anger and resentment against that person. If we hold on to a grudge it only keeps anger brewing and holds back wholeness in mind, body and spirit.
Yes, someone has hurt you and the pain runs deep and you are mad to the 10th power. Well, guess who that affects, only you. The person that you are angry with may not care or may care, but has decided that there is nothing they can do about what happened and that is it. You may decide that you are owed an apology and until you get one you will not forgive. Listen, it is o.k. not to get an apology, it may not be real anyway. But, if you ask God to help you forgive, you will be freed from what you have been holding, an apology would become insignificant. Your freedom to feel the weight removed from your shoulders and being able to move on from being held back is right there for you, if you would forgive. An apology is a way to make the person say "I wronged you and I am sorry," it is a way to bring them back to where you are with the hope of making them see or even better, feel your pain. Why do that, why not just remove the shackles for your sake and take in a breath of fresh air and forgive.
Forgiveness is done on your behalf, God requires this for a reason and if He can forgive us for missteps that may not make Him most happy and may be hurtful to Him, we can surely do as He ask and forgive others. Put your pain aside and and free you. You will not forget, you will have learned a lesson about this person, that you can actually use to identify certain characteristics in others that you may meet in the future that alerts avoidance. No matter in what capacity another person may show up in your life you have a pretty good radar that will sound, now you know this personality and how to handle situations with this personality type. Make this work for you, not against your freedom. You will feel so much better if you release your grip on wanting an apology or if you received one and it was not sincere, now you want a sincere one. Release your grip let it go. If you are not ready or know how to forgive ask God to help you fulfill the act of forgiveness so can you can be free from what has hurt you, you want to look forward and not behind. He will help you do that. Is that not better than dwelling on it? Giving room to a bad seed to grow like weeds choking all of the healthy parts of you that deserve to continue to grow. Think about it, it is worth living a better emotional, spiritual and physical life. Not forgiving can affect your mind, body, and spirit, today you have the power to change the negative to a positive. Give forgiveness a try. You can do it :)
With inspiration,
Oreadea
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