When Someone Hurts You

Hello Strong Men, It seems that I have been having conversations with so many hurt or simply unhappy people lately.      I feel compelled to blog on the subject.  You know, I see hurt as something felt in a place that is considered indescribable and unreachable.  Hurt can take one to a place of surrender, wherein, you give in to what you have been fighting against.  For example, someone may be determined not to be emotionally affected by someone close to them that puts them down, but, the day comes when everything makes for the perfect storm, that person's mood, the fact that they have begun to be affected by the person, even fatigue and it happens, the melt down, when all emotions are on the loose and the pressure cooker explodes.    

I had various conversations with individuals that touched on reasons why they feel hurt or unhappy.  So, I am thinking, what can I say to ease their hurt or unhappiness, but, it is good to listen at times, and say nothing other than a prayer in your heart. I am not an expert who can say, do this and you will be rid of all hurt and unhappiness.  But, I do know from experience that prayer and actively working on becoming strong is vital in healing.  Sometimes, the people that we let into our lives do not have overall good intentions and do not reciprocate your kindness, real sense of friendship and genuine compassion for them.  In some cases, there are relationships and friendships that are broken because one hurt the other.

I could go through many situations where people become hurt and unhappy.  I will add that decisions we make are not always good ones and therefore, we somewhat dig our own ditch.  But, what I want to do is encourage anyone reading this who is hurt and just can not figure out why this happened.  First, I say, for every moment that you want to play back what happened, don't, pray instead,  give yourself room to feel the sadness that it brings then, be thankful for the revelation.  Sometimes, when we see things after the fact, we get upset, which is human, but, be thankful too that you know now what you did not before.  Second, I want to say, do not place blame on you for not seeing or maybe you did m, and decided to ignore signs.  All you can do from here is take in the lesson and apply it to your future.  Give yourself credit for even feeling hurt.  Some people just are cold and care very little.  Just to have feelings that are real and can be extended to another is in its own way a blessing.  If you are caring and loving, remain that way.  Do not become bitter and begin to build the highest emotional wall ever, just be thankful for the heart that you have to be kind, gentle, thoughtful, understanding and good, by no means does this make you gullible.  It makes you human, living in God's light.

Let God help.

With inspiration, Oreadea

Words Have Power

Hello Everyone,

I had an interesting conversation the other day about someone who said something quite hurtful to someone else.  The centerpiece to the conversation was why would someone say something so hurtful to someone that they knew it would hurt deeply?  Then my brother said that my niece told him in a different conversation that "dad, hurt people, hurt people."  I have heard this so many times and it is really the answer to a large number of whys, why did he say that, why would she say this?  It does not excuse it, but provides an answer.

My paternal grandmother use to always tell the family, and it is a whole lot of us, but she would take the time to say, "taste your words before you say them and if they taste bitter do not say them, once they go out, you can not take them back."  Words have such power and we know this to be true, everyone at some point and time have had hurt feelings simply by what another has said. Could it be that the saying, misery loves company has a long measure of truth.  Do those that are hurt want others to join them in their misery so, they let their hurt get the best of them by lashing out at those who care?

Here is what I ponder, and I welcome comments to share your insight and perspective, if someone is hurt,  why hurt the person or persons that are showing love?  I am not sure how often the person that did the hurting ever gets to see how hurt the person really is.  Hurt people regularly lash out toward those that care the most and the words spoken can never be taken back?  This can damage a healthy relationship with family and friends.  Is it a case of the walking wounded, everyone near the wound is at risk to catch the raft of one's pain?  If this is so, how can it be remedied before it becomes toxic for those that have done nothing to hurt the one that is hurt.

The bible speaks of the power of the tongue.  It is important to make a conscious effort not to be one that inflicts hurt on others even if there is hurt within oneself. One thing I know for sure is that hurt people are wounded people that need healing.

I would like to read your thoughts and feelings about it.  Do not feel compelled, but if you would like to post a comment or words of encouragement that may help someone, feel free. 

A dedication video to those that are hurt

                                                            video by +jwalkerjessie by song by Fred Hammond

With inspiration,
Oreadea

Free Yourself

Hello Everyone,

The way that we think and things that we do can really hold us back, but not forgiving can hold us back even more.  The unwillingness to forgive can keep us angry.  We think it gives us a coping mechanism to help keep our guard up.  Because, if we stay angry at someone we will have the will power not to talk to them, not to care or keep at a distance.  This is a crutch, forgiveness does not mean that the guard comes down regarding the person, but it does free us from the anger and resentment against that person.  If we hold on to a grudge it only keeps anger brewing and holds back wholeness in mind, body and spirit.

Yes, someone has hurt you and the pain runs deep and you are mad to the 10th power.  Well, guess who that affects, only you.  The person that you are angry with may not care or may care, but has decided that there is nothing they can do about what happened and that is it.  You may decide that you are owed an apology and until you get one you will not forgive.  Listen, it is o.k. not to get an apology, it may not be real anyway.  But, if you ask God to help you forgive, you will be freed from what you have been holding, an apology would become insignificant.  Your freedom to feel the weight removed from your shoulders and being able to move on from being held back is right there for you, if you would forgive.  An apology is a way to make the person say "I wronged you and I am sorry," it is a way to bring them back to where you are with the hope of making them see or even better, feel your pain.  Why do that, why not just remove the shackles for your sake and take in a breath of fresh air and forgive.

Forgiveness is done on your behalf,  God requires this for a reason and if He can forgive us for missteps that may not make Him most happy and may be hurtful to Him, we can surely do as He ask and forgive others.  Put your pain aside and and free you.  You will not forget, you will have learned a lesson about this person, that you can actually use to identify certain characteristics in others that you may meet  in the future that alerts avoidance.  No matter in what capacity another person may show up in your life you have a pretty good radar that will sound, now you know this personality and how to handle situations with this personality type.  Make this work for you, not against your freedom.  You will feel so much better if you release your grip on wanting an apology or if you received one and it was not sincere, now you want a sincere one.  Release your grip let it go.  If you are not ready or know how to forgive ask God to help you fulfill the act of forgiveness so can you can be free from what has hurt you, you want to look forward and not behind.  He will help you do that.  Is that not better than dwelling on it? Giving room to a bad seed to grow like weeds choking all of the healthy parts of you that deserve to continue to grow.  Think about it, it is worth living a better emotional, spiritual  and physical life.  Not forgiving can affect your mind, body, and spirit, today you have the power to change the negative to a positive.  Give forgiveness a try.  You can do it :)

                                                 Matthew West Forgiveness

With inspiration,
Oreadea
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