If You Never Get, " I Am Sorry"

Hello Winners,

We so desire to hear those 3 little words, "I am sorry."  If they are not sincere, what are they really worth to you?   Throughout life people are going to do and say things that are hurtful and we feel that an apology is in order.  Yes, it is, but, don't force anyone to give it and do not feel that there is no closure if you do not get one.  Here is the key, if you can forgive and move passed it, it is better than an empty, "I am sorry."  If something is on your chest let the person know, do not let them walk around oblivious to your feelings.  It is not fair to consider it common sense for them to know that you were wounded by their words.  It is best to have a moment with him/her to express how you feel, but, be prepared to put it behind you after that.  If you do not get an apology,  just use it as a measuring stick to govern your interaction with him/her in the future.

Too often, we feel that an apology equals closure.  However,  your feeling of closure is not predicated on those 3 little words.  Closure really comes from knowing that you are whole without it.  Have I had first-hand experience with feeling the need for an apology and did not get one?  Absolutely, it took me a minute to realize that an apology is not going to provide closure for me, because, I knew that it would not be sincere.  So, what did I do?  I began to examine the character of the person as I came to see it.  You may not come to anything in particular, however, take heed to how a person reacts to you from that point on.  My Dad would always says, "You are what you are when you act."  I found this to be so true and I measure accordingly.  My point is, an apology is not needed to bring wholeness to you.  You are already whole and if it never comes, it will not change the fact that you are whole already.  It is not a good feeling to feel dismissed by anyone, however, keep your power.  Do not give an inch of it away by persistently wanting someone to acknowledge your feelings.  Sometimes, it just may not happen.

If you never get an apology,  it is ok.  You can now see a little clearer into the character of a person and can choose to be cautious. You want to have genuine people in your corner, who will acknowledge you when you are hurt and who will truly care about your heart.  Do not be dismayed, instead, feel relieved about the revelation that you now see what you did not see previously.  Would you rather an empty apology or sincere one?  With that asked, assess, measure and govern things accordingly.

Last, but not least, pray for comfort of your hurt, counsel in dealing with it and look forward to an emotional growth spurt.  Don't be arrested in this, wake up and see you as whole no matter an apology or not.
Jill Scott - When I Wake Up      Posted By: Shonta Evans


With inspiration,
Oreadea

My Youtube Show

Hello Family & Friends,

I had some technical difficulties and was unable to post my video for the Thursday show.  However, here it is in Part I and Part II.  I hope that it helps someone to forgive.

Matthew West "Forgiveness"  Posted by MattStone712

With inspiration,
Oreadea

Don't Wonder If You Have Been Forgiven

Hello Everyone,

I have a friend with whom I constantly debate.  One debate was about forgiveness and just what that means when it comes to God forgiving us. We disagreed on some points, but let me share my point with you.

Stop self condemnation and believe that God Forgives.  I think it is hard for some to believe they have been forgiven for doing something wrong, because, they feel the need to badger themselves to keep from doing it again.  Here is the thing, if you have asked God to forgive you and you truly are remorseful, then why not believe that it is done.  O.k., self badgering is a mechanism as a reminder not to do it again, but if you have been forgiven that is enough.  Just to know that God Himself loves you and with His sincere heart has answered your request of forgiveness, is freedom from what has been done.

Believe in your heart what is asked of Him.  It is not something that has to be publicized or told to anyone, just you knowing that your talk with the Father was sincere is worth its weight in gold.  God really loves us, He made us and does not want us to not get beyond our faults, but to acknowledge the error in our ways, not repeat it and move on.  He looks forward to our happiness and to see us be whole, not broken and guilt ridden.  His love is never ending and He believes in us.  So, we must learn to grow and flourish and not feel that God is dwelling on our errors, for it is us that actually do that, keeping us bound to regret and guilt.  It does not get us any where and slows progress and joy.  God's love is great and extends itself beyond mistakes.  Once He forgives, we must be thankful and leave it alone.                                            
     No Greater Love by +Fred Hammond

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With inspiration,
Oreadea

Free Yourself

Hello Everyone,

The way that we think and things that we do can really hold us back, but not forgiving can hold us back even more.  The unwillingness to forgive can keep us angry.  We think it gives us a coping mechanism to help keep our guard up.  Because, if we stay angry at someone we will have the will power not to talk to them, not to care or keep at a distance.  This is a crutch, forgiveness does not mean that the guard comes down regarding the person, but it does free us from the anger and resentment against that person.  If we hold on to a grudge it only keeps anger brewing and holds back wholeness in mind, body and spirit.

Yes, someone has hurt you and the pain runs deep and you are mad to the 10th power.  Well, guess who that affects, only you.  The person that you are angry with may not care or may care, but has decided that there is nothing they can do about what happened and that is it.  You may decide that you are owed an apology and until you get one you will not forgive.  Listen, it is o.k. not to get an apology, it may not be real anyway.  But, if you ask God to help you forgive, you will be freed from what you have been holding, an apology would become insignificant.  Your freedom to feel the weight removed from your shoulders and being able to move on from being held back is right there for you, if you would forgive.  An apology is a way to make the person say "I wronged you and I am sorry," it is a way to bring them back to where you are with the hope of making them see or even better, feel your pain.  Why do that, why not just remove the shackles for your sake and take in a breath of fresh air and forgive.

Forgiveness is done on your behalf,  God requires this for a reason and if He can forgive us for missteps that may not make Him most happy and may be hurtful to Him, we can surely do as He ask and forgive others.  Put your pain aside and and free you.  You will not forget, you will have learned a lesson about this person, that you can actually use to identify certain characteristics in others that you may meet  in the future that alerts avoidance.  No matter in what capacity another person may show up in your life you have a pretty good radar that will sound, now you know this personality and how to handle situations with this personality type.  Make this work for you, not against your freedom.  You will feel so much better if you release your grip on wanting an apology or if you received one and it was not sincere, now you want a sincere one.  Release your grip let it go.  If you are not ready or know how to forgive ask God to help you fulfill the act of forgiveness so can you can be free from what has hurt you, you want to look forward and not behind.  He will help you do that.  Is that not better than dwelling on it? Giving room to a bad seed to grow like weeds choking all of the healthy parts of you that deserve to continue to grow.  Think about it, it is worth living a better emotional, spiritual  and physical life.  Not forgiving can affect your mind, body, and spirit, today you have the power to change the negative to a positive.  Give forgiveness a try.  You can do it :)

                                                 Matthew West Forgiveness

With inspiration,
Oreadea
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