If You Never Get, " I Am Sorry"

Hello Winners,

We so desire to hear those 3 little words, "I am sorry."  If they are not sincere, what are they really worth to you?   Throughout life people are going to do and say things that are hurtful and we feel that an apology is in order.  Yes, it is, but, don't force anyone to give it and do not feel that there is no closure if you do not get one.  Here is the key, if you can forgive and move passed it, it is better than an empty, "I am sorry."  If something is on your chest let the person know, do not let them walk around oblivious to your feelings.  It is not fair to consider it common sense for them to know that you were wounded by their words.  It is best to have a moment with him/her to express how you feel, but, be prepared to put it behind you after that.  If you do not get an apology,  just use it as a measuring stick to govern your interaction with him/her in the future.

Too often, we feel that an apology equals closure.  However,  your feeling of closure is not predicated on those 3 little words.  Closure really comes from knowing that you are whole without it.  Have I had first-hand experience with feeling the need for an apology and did not get one?  Absolutely, it took me a minute to realize that an apology is not going to provide closure for me, because, I knew that it would not be sincere.  So, what did I do?  I began to examine the character of the person as I came to see it.  You may not come to anything in particular, however, take heed to how a person reacts to you from that point on.  My Dad would always says, "You are what you are when you act."  I found this to be so true and I measure accordingly.  My point is, an apology is not needed to bring wholeness to you.  You are already whole and if it never comes, it will not change the fact that you are whole already.  It is not a good feeling to feel dismissed by anyone, however, keep your power.  Do not give an inch of it away by persistently wanting someone to acknowledge your feelings.  Sometimes, it just may not happen.

If you never get an apology,  it is ok.  You can now see a little clearer into the character of a person and can choose to be cautious. You want to have genuine people in your corner, who will acknowledge you when you are hurt and who will truly care about your heart.  Do not be dismayed, instead, feel relieved about the revelation that you now see what you did not see previously.  Would you rather an empty apology or sincere one?  With that asked, assess, measure and govern things accordingly.

Last, but not least, pray for comfort of your hurt, counsel in dealing with it and look forward to an emotional growth spurt.  Don't be arrested in this, wake up and see you as whole no matter an apology or not.
Jill Scott - When I Wake Up      Posted By: Shonta Evans


With inspiration,
Oreadea

Words Have Power

Hello Everyone,

I had an interesting conversation the other day about someone who said something quite hurtful to someone else.  The centerpiece to the conversation was why would someone say something so hurtful to someone that they knew it would hurt deeply?  Then my brother said that my niece told him in a different conversation that "dad, hurt people, hurt people."  I have heard this so many times and it is really the answer to a large number of whys, why did he say that, why would she say this?  It does not excuse it, but provides an answer.

My paternal grandmother use to always tell the family, and it is a whole lot of us, but she would take the time to say, "taste your words before you say them and if they taste bitter do not say them, once they go out, you can not take them back."  Words have such power and we know this to be true, everyone at some point and time have had hurt feelings simply by what another has said. Could it be that the saying, misery loves company has a long measure of truth.  Do those that are hurt want others to join them in their misery so, they let their hurt get the best of them by lashing out at those who care?

Here is what I ponder, and I welcome comments to share your insight and perspective, if someone is hurt,  why hurt the person or persons that are showing love?  I am not sure how often the person that did the hurting ever gets to see how hurt the person really is.  Hurt people regularly lash out toward those that care the most and the words spoken can never be taken back?  This can damage a healthy relationship with family and friends.  Is it a case of the walking wounded, everyone near the wound is at risk to catch the raft of one's pain?  If this is so, how can it be remedied before it becomes toxic for those that have done nothing to hurt the one that is hurt.

The bible speaks of the power of the tongue.  It is important to make a conscious effort not to be one that inflicts hurt on others even if there is hurt within oneself. One thing I know for sure is that hurt people are wounded people that need healing.

I would like to read your thoughts and feelings about it.  Do not feel compelled, but if you would like to post a comment or words of encouragement that may help someone, feel free. 

A dedication video to those that are hurt

                                                            video by +jwalkerjessie by song by Fred Hammond

With inspiration,
Oreadea