Stop Breaking Your Own Heart

Hello Strong Men & Women,

I posted on my IG last evening a vignette of Fantasia Barrino (Taylor) sing "Free Yourself" to hopefully open eyes to the possibility of being really happy.  This is 2018, there is no more time or room for anyone who does not treat you good, who does not make you smile, instead you feel lonely and not cared about.  (First, let me say, there are individuals out there that are victims of abuse and there is a different dynamic here.  I urge anyone being abused to talk with someone who can help in dealing with the how and when for such a relationship.  Please call National Domestic Violence Hotline on 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224).  For those who are not in an abusive relationship and you are holding out hope for a person who is showing you better than they can tell you, that they have no respect for you and have no plans to make you happy, instead, they dishonor you and treat you with disdain, you must begin to count the cost of this. You may feel like you will be too hurt to get over someone, so far from true.  Will you hurt, yes...will it take time to get over him or her, yes, it will.  However, it is the decision to realize your worth and what you deserve (happiness) that will help you to breathe again.  I want to be careful about this, because, I am not saying that you must leave any relationship, I am saying, if you are unhappy, disrespected and made to feel disregarded, you have some thinking to do.  God created us to live a life of purpose, joy and courage, not to be torn and broken down by someone who is filled with a displaced ego, who feels big by making you feel small.  I can say this, because, I once lived it on many levels with someone who I was with for many years. I would have bet my last penny that he would not have been so horrible, guess what,  I would have lost my last penny.  So, I am speaking from a place of experience and not television. When you accept the thoughts that this is the only person in the world for you, you break your own heart.  you are keeping a seat in your life for someone who does not want to earn it and does not have to earn it. You already gave the seat to him or her.

How can you grow if you do not nurture your life in all areas.  You may nuture your health by exercising and that is good, you may eat right to also nurture your health...wonderful, you may pray and go to church to nuture your spirit, this is extremely good, you may take various classes to enhance your knowledge and career...always in order, you may have a great abillity to meet great people and cultivate good friendships....I can go on.  I think you have the idea, you can do all of these things, but if you do not work on and nurture your inner-self, you will always lack peace and contentment.  If you are praying and going to church, do not neglect the obvious.  Stop being afraid to pray for freedom from a relationship that keeps you bound.  You can do many things to nurture your life in various areas, but, if you don't accept what is before you and you leave it to grow weeds it will choke out your efforts in the other areas.  I can tell you with certainty, if you think you may be  unhappy, you are.  There is no one walking the earth who is worth any more of your time, attention and effort, when it is not reciprocated.  No one can be forced to care and show respect if it is not there intent.  You deserve to live with integrity, love and consideration.  Never lessen your value in any situation.  You are not less than, if anything you are more, because of your big heart and sincerity in how you feel about the other person.  Believe it or not, that is a blessing, because your heart is good. You can not be afraid, because you can not see the future without the person who brings you pain,  ask yourself, how will it be if you contine with him or her?  The only way I know to tell you is to begin to give happiness, joy, respect and love your trust and let these wonderful things navigate you to a good space in your head, in your heart and in your spirit.  God will take care of you and will not let you fall.  Many times, we pick who we think we want and do not ask God to send us who we need.  He wants you to live happy in your relationship, not stressed and unsure.  You never need this person, don't believe it, because, it is not anyone's truth.

 I am posting this video to provide a message. The song mentions fighting, which, does not simply mean physical fights, it speaks to verbal fights and the push pull emotional struggles to make it what it is not, you so badly want him or her to honor you and they are not willing to honor you.  Be faithful to you and your happiness, the picture will be clearer.  Ladies and Gentlemen, you deserve love<3

Fantasia "Lose To Win" posted by chanwall2008



With ispiration,
Oreadea

When You Are Hurting

Hello Strong Men & Women,

I have been having conversations with so many hurt or simply unhappy people lately, it seems. I feel compelled to blog on the subject.  You know, I see hurt as something that is considered indescribable and unreachable.  Hurt can take one to a place of surrender, wherein, you give in to what you have been fighting against.  For example, someone may be determined not to be emotionally affected by someone close to them that puts them down, but the day comes when everything makes for the perfect storm, the melt down, when all emotions are on the loose and the pressure cooker explodes.    

I had various conversations with individuals that touched on reasons why they feel hurt or unhappy.  So, I am thinking, what can I say to ease their hurt or unhappiness, but it is also good to listen and say  a prayer in your heart. I am not an expert who can say do this and you will be rid of all hurt and unhappiness.  But, I do know from experience that prayer and actively working on becoming strong is vital in healing.  Sometimes, the people that we let into our lives do not have overall good intentions and do not reciprocate kindness, real sense of friendship and genuine compassion for others.  In many cases, there are relationships and friendships that are broken because one hurt the other.

I could go through many situations where people become hurt and unhappy.  Instead, I want to encourage anyone reading this who is hurt and just can not figure out why this happened.  First, I say, for every moment that you want to play back what happened, don't, pray instead,  give yourself room to feel the sadness that it brings then, be thankful for the revelation.  Sometimes, when we see things after the fact, we get upset, which is human, but be thankful too that you know what you did not know before.  Second, I want to say, do not place blame on you for not seeing or maybe you decided to ignore signs.  All you can do from here is take in the lesson and apply it to your future.  Give yourself credit for even feeling hurt.  Some people just are cold and care very little.  Just to have feelings that are real and can be extended to another is in its own way a blessing.  If you are caring and loving remain that way.  Do not become bitter and begin to build the highest emotional wall ever, just be thankful for the heart that you have to be kind, gentle, thoughtful, understanding and good, by no means does this make you gullible.  It makes you human, living in God's light.

Never feel that you can not recover from pain and unhappiness.  It is a part of life and we have to  go through it with hope and courage.  You can recover, you can find happiness, you can heal, you can find peace of mind.  Let God help, He will listen and will never walk away.


Posted by:  Richard Arsenault                     I'm Over Now - Biship Marvin Winans

With inspiration,
Oreadea